It’s okay to have ridiculous dreams because sometimes they come true
In one of my recent newsletters, I wrote something ridiculous. It didn’t occur to me that I was being ridiculous until a reader called me out. Read the introduction yourself before I get into stocks, economics and more.
Happy Father’s Day to those of you who are fathers and still fathers. And remember the good times we had with those whose fathers have passed away.
I will be busy spending a lot of time with my parents, sister and niece as they are in town for a week. Too bad they live in Hawaii and New York and I’m in California.
When my kids grow up, I plan to stay in at least the same time zone as them. It doesn’t make sense that 80% – 90% of the time we spend with our parents ends after we turn 19.
One of the things that surprised me the most about Covid was being away from family for so long. My parents are in their mid 70’s and I feel that time is getting worse. I want to see them as much as possible.
One of my recent regrets is not relocating to Hawaii before covid. I have been looking closely at houses since 2015. If we had moved, I would have been able to spend more time with my parents in Hawaii. It would have been sweet to live in Hawaii with no incoming flights for a year.
But uprooting a family is difficult. We have doctors, friends and schools. Unfortunately, my parents weren’t ready to relocate to San Francisco because they were too used to their environment.
Because of my passive nature, I am determined to make it easier for our children to spend more time with us by moving closer to where they live. They don’t have to spend time with us, but I want to give them the option if they want to.
A reader’s response to my plan to spend more time with my adult children
I hadn’t thought deeply about the third column I wrote in my newsletter until I received this response from a reader.
Happy Father’s Day!
I mostly enjoy your newsletters. Why only mostly? Because sometimes you are Write ridiculous things. Do you plan to live in the same time zone as your children? What if one goes to NY and one goes to Hawaii? You have to maintain houses in each location and often travel back and forth or choose one.
Your children are small. Just as you can’t imagine life today before you have kids, it’s nearly impossible to predict how it will change when they’re adults.
Life has a way of throwing surprises your way. While money can help you navigate, it doesn’t fix everything. trust me.
To your good health!
I think it’s okay to have ridiculous dreams
Thanks Michelle. I admit I’m a ridiculous person, but I think it’s pretty funny. Why should we always think and act in terms of social norms? Sometimes being ridiculous pays off!
For example, if I had followed the standard protocol of giving my manager two weeks’ notice before leaving, I would not have received a severance package.
If I hadn’t received the severance package, I wouldn’t have traveled to 20 new countries between 2012 – 2016. Going to St. Petersburg, Russia feels even more special now because we can’t go back. for a little while. I wouldn’t have checked off many bucket list items like seeing Roger Federer on center court at Wimbledon. It was an incredible experience.
I wouldn’t have written a book teaching people how to negotiate a breakup. Before 2012, many believed that negotiating a divorce was absurd. But I’ve made it to the tune of several six-figure sums, and thousands have.
I think it’s ridiculous that people quit their jobs after years of service! But due to ignorance or fear, millions of people do it. Hopefully the idea of fighting for your rights and benefits as employees will become more common with time.
Although I shared my regrets about not taking the money when a rival company made me a sweet offer, I was able to quit at 34. In retrospect, it was ridiculous to walk away from a fixed salary at such a young age.
More flexibility in retirement
I don’t see my kids living in the same time zone as a big challenge. Why? Because I thought about my grown children actually living on the same street in the same city! Wow!
If a child lives in a different city or country, of course I’m going to rent or own a second home for them to live in. What a great way to diversify a real estate portfolio!
If they relocate for another job, I will also relocate. What a privilege to have more opportunities to see our country or the world. Of course, buy more real estate.
Flying back and forth between two children is not a problem because we have the freedom to do so.
Like Kathy Bates of griefI will be their biggest fan!
Home is where family is.
After spending 18 years raising my children, it will be strange not seeing them every day once they leave the nest. So I think it’s a reasonable compromise to see them at least once a month by living in the same time zone.
Once the kids become independent adults, retirees with excess passive income can find it easier to move around the country or the world with them. My wife and I would consider true retirement a grand adventure!
Just as I chose to save and invest more aggressively, I will choose to live closer to our children when the time comes. They may not like it at first, but they will appreciate the time we spend together.
I refuse to believe that 80% – 90% of our time with our children is over once they turn 19.
But I check with my wife first about my plan. She may not be on board.
Don’t be afraid to be ridiculous
Society is an artificial construct.
For example, we have originalists who believe that everything written in the Constitution must be followed to the letter even though it was written on September 17th, 1787 by slave-owning nobles!
Maybe I’m different because in my spare time I like to write, paint and play guitar. Being so creative naturally calls into question the purpose of always drawing within the lines. Doing your own thing is very exciting.
Of course, there are advantages to compliance and integration. Conformity and coordination can help you get promoted and paid faster. You’ll make more friends, which means you’ll be less likely to be lonely.
However, there is nothing wrong with having ridiculous plans or thinking in ridiculous ways. Many things that are commonplace today were once considered absurd.
Typing on an iPhone with no buttons? Ridiculous! My Blackberry is fine. thank you very much.
I know money can’t fix everything. This is because some people with money are still not happy. However, I will not stop doing the things I love, no matter how ridiculous it may seem.
If I end up with a disappointing result due to a blind spot or something else, I change my plans accordingly. Trial and error makes life more interesting.
Other ridiculous things I didn’t expect
- I got into my favorite state college despite getting in trouble in high school
- Despite coming from an aimless public college, he landed a job at a large investment bank
- Reaching a 5.0 in USDA, all I played was a top 1% level dominated by HS tennis ex-college players.
- In 2012 he wrote a Wall Street Journal bestseller without even getting an agent
- Financial Samurai has been going for 14 years in a row and counting
You never know until you try or try. Please break free from the shackles of society. If you do, you’ll discover new adventures you never thought possible!
Reader questions and suggestions
What are some of the more ridiculous things you thought happened? Why do some people find it so hard to think outside the box? What are the challenges or disadvantages of relocating closer to your adult children to spend more time with them?
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